Oracle

Even psychics have their blind spots.

Everyday I deal with personal prophecies and dish out guidance to the poor souls knocking at my door. I answer questions about their love lives, their hidden desires, and all the other incessant queries they can't seem to answer for themselves. And everyday, I do it with a smile on my face when I really just want to roll my eyes or tell them to get off their ass and make a move. Any freakin' move.

Have I mentioned, people annoy the crap outta me?

Don't look so surprised. You'd be annoyed, too, if you were 2 millennia old and had to deal with the same questions day in and day out—when all you really want to do, is unlock the big gaping hole in your own damn memories.